Boyfriend is becoming priest

When discerning a vocation you will have a majority of people against you. They will either scoff at the idea of celibacy or dedicating your life to the Church, or they will have some lofty ideal of priesthood/religious life that they don't think you qualify for, or they will be afraid of losing you. And they will lose you. Becoming ordained or consecrated is like a death - it is called 'white martyrdom'. In some ways this is worse than 'red martyrdom' because the death is long and drawn out - they are both 'alive' and 'dead', out of the world and yet still among us, the chance of their breaking their vows and returning to 'life' ever present and always tempting.

Think of the old Irish practice of holding a funeral for those who would emmigrate to the US. In a sense, an ordination or final profession is like this - and has many allusions to death and dying.

This is moreso the case for religious than for diocesan priests, who usually enter their home diocese or another closeby. But in a sense, that may even be worse, similar to what /u/Peaky_Blinder_Tommy is saying, in that their presence & proximity is a constant reminder of your loss. It's like being haunted by their ghost.

It's not wrong for you to feel this way. You are experiencing a unique form of loss unlike anything in the secular world nor in most other religions as well. It will be best to 'develop' your love for him according to the teachings of St. Thomas Aquinas - who defined 'love' as 'desire for the good of another'. Your boyfriend brought you a lot of good, e.g. through his close company, but his vocation, whatever that is, is where he will be happiest.

Maybe begin a marian consecration with the special intention of entrusting him to her care?

/r/Catholicism Thread