Boyfriend is a borderline pedophilic porn addicted liar

Yeah, gonna have to agree with you there. The feet of the victim is the worst possible spot to lay blame for the continued actions of abusers. It IS NOT the previous victim's fault that a predator abuses again.

It's only one person's fault. The abuser.

I've often wondered what people have in their heads about what happens after assault. Righteous indignation is not usually the immediate response to degradation from an abuser, especially one the victim trusted at first — the response tends to be more centered around fear and suspicion.

Do people really think the victim wants to (or is even mentally able to) stand the sight of their abuser, let alone have the strength to fight against them in a court where the victim has to give a play-by-play of one of the most traumatic experiences of their life, and even after all that, has a chance to not be believed at all?

I applaud survivors of assault who are able to come forward and do everything in their power to take down the abuser. I also understand that not everyone can drag themselves through another traumatic experience when there's a chance they won't be believed and their life will be worse than if they had never said anything.

/r/relationship_advice Thread Parent