I read through a lot of your comments OP, and I want to say that having had a lot of partners in the past does not preclude you from finding a great guy who will love you completely as you are.

Your boyfriend or (hopefully) future partner doesn’t need to know your number. If they ask that, you can tell them it’s not their business because it isn’t. I used to feel insecure about this too which is why I stopped counting a long time ago. I remember a movie coming out staring Chris Pine and Anna Farris when I was like twenty two where the entire premise was no one will marry a woman who has been with more than twenty people. I was already past that mark. I can’t express enough how crappy that made me feel. If you were safe in the past, and are safe moving forward, it literally does not matter at all. Even if you weren’t, it only needs to come up to the extent of explaining the safety measure necessary to be with your partner without endangering them. There’s no circumstance where you are required to give that information out. If men are pushy about it that’s a big red flag. Men making a big deal about “purity” or being with a girl who has been with fewer people than them are ALWAYS coming from a place of insecurity and/or a need to control you. My boyfriend, who is the love of my life and who I have been with for nearly two years has never once even broached the subject of how many partners I’ve had before him. We’ve talked about desires and experiences we’ve explored, we’ve talked about trauma I’ve dealt with, and he has always been supportive and encouraging- never once has he implied anything I said made me less “pure” because that’s utter nonsense.

As for the tattoo- do you like it? Because it’s your body and your life. No one who really loves you is going to use the words “trashy” or “disgusting” to describe you. There is nothing innately trashy or disgusting about tattoos. I don’t have any, but I have a cousin who is a tattoo artist and the majority of my 20 cousins have multiple tattoos. There are TONS of men who think tattoos are cool, or are completely indifferent to them.

For the record a guy who really loves you isn’t going to be dropping ultimatums either.

I hope you find a guy who wants to build you up. Who thinks you are great and can appreciate that your past shaped you and turned you into the person he loves now. The people telling you to work on your self worth are spot on. This guy you are with is breaking you down. I’m sorry you’ve had enough shitty experiences with men to make you believe you deserve this treatment, because you don’t. There are better men out there.