My perspective on this kind of topic is that we sort of caught up to women's rights by allowing abortion, we also still heavily side with women in family court for custody even when dads might be the better provider. There is a lot of missing support for dudes in this area including a failed BC method and unwanted pregnancy, the only person who gets any power there is a woman now and men get strapped in for 18-19 years of child support. Their only option is to be the "bad guy" and bail out effectively being labelled a deadbeat dad because they didn't want a baby but have no say over a woman carrying the unwanted pregnancy to term.

I think in a fair world we'd give both people the choice to opt out of unwanted pregnancy, not by forcing women to get an abortion but instead allowing men to give up parental rights in the first 3 months. That would let everyone walk away cleanly in the abortion time frame if they didn't want it and everyone could go in with eyes open to the final choices made about it all.

I think what he's saying in this one regard is that he feels helpless in what he could have chosen besides leaving you and the hypothetical baby if you'd kept it. Also he could be reaffirming how he doesn't want children in a very clear way in case you're fence sitting and thought he was still, being super on the same page about this topic especially is important.

The thing that catches my eye here in this:

There have been other occurrences in our relationship that I feel like I can’t count on him when it comes down to the tough stuff (I’m telling ya, 2019 was really, really difficult) and this just kind of adds another layer of distrust.

If he's consistently not there for you are you sure you want to be with him? Your partner is supposed to be your rock and someone you can trust to catch you if you fall, if he wouldn't do for you what you'd do for him then maybe you should reconsider this whole relationship.