i always feel like asking relationship advice and talking to others about your relationship is always very difficult because they can never quite know exactly what's going on between the two people and how they feel they can only see and hear from what the couple tells them which is never 100% the whole relationship. Some days i wonder why i'm still bothering, why i still go over every night. I feel used sometimes and that i'm only good enough for sex now. But he tells me cares and that the timing and everything was just not right and i don't believe him but i want to so i'm trying. But things like this make me feel like he doesn't love me even though he tells me he does. Like i notice little details he does differently like how he stopped saying love you on the phone when we say our good byes, how we barely hug and kiss when i come over, how he doesn't care what i do as much and it hurts but it pushes me away which is semi okay because when one of us realizes this is going nowhere and never will i'll be okay. we aren't exclusive anymore, i'm talking to other guys, i have my own life, work, school, perusing art, friends so for now i'm just riding it out. if it ends it ends. if he used me just to fuck ill feel stupid but he's already made me feel so stupid how much more can it even bother me? and i know that sounds terrible but i love him and he loves me (from what he tells me) and wants to be with my forever but in order for us to be together forever we need this break for me to build myself up more and then when i'm the best version of myself we can be together which to me infuriates me because he doesn't want me now with my semi problems but he believes i have potential to be with him forever which makes me want to stop talking to him right there because he shouldn't be able to get me later when i'm my best version doing my best. ugh relationships are full of stress and drama. it use to be fun now it's a drag.