3. Boyfriend mentioning ex constantly.

Boyfriend mentioning ex constantly.

Putting those two things together, and it may seem twisted, but he is actually using these stories to form a deeper bond with you. He wants you to understand who he is and what made him the man he is today. Without understanding where he came from... how can you understand who he is today?

My ex actually told me that he did this with his current girl the last time we spoke. It made her feel insecure, and she even thought he was going to go back to me at one point. Apparently their relationship is rock solid now? Don't know and don't care - didn't seek out this information, they felt the need to tell me. Hope it goes well - when my ex and I were still together, he talked a lot about the ex-girlfriend before me, too. The outcome has never been pleasant AFAIK. u/narcissistic_walrus' case might not stem from what I perceive to be malicious intentions, but OP should bear this possibility in mind when it comes to her current relationship.

I know I spoke about my ex a lot in the first year I dated my current gf. Gradually I felt more and more understood and comfortable with her, and it eventually stopped or lessened. I think when he is telling these stories do not get annoyed with him but listen and try to understand what he is REALLY telling you. I bet it will be less about her and more about him.

Depending on the OP's boyfriend's willingness to put in genuine effort into working through his emotional baggage (of any kind from his past relationship), which includes being honest especially about his role in the relationship, the last statement could either be a good thing or a bad thing.

Personally, I seek to be with someone who has the maturity to resolve his emotional baggage before entering a relationship with me. I want someone who will be just as ready as I am. Someone who is truly emotionally available and has learnt to leave the past in the past (unless he has to keep being in contact with her for legal reasons e.g. shared custody). But this is not about what I want - this is about what you want, u/seekingtruth10. Are you okay with the mentioning of his ex lingering like a ghost for God knows how long? Or do you want someone who is totally into you and the present right here and right now?

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