I don’t think this is entirely fair. It’s his baby, too, and it’s still worth the conversation. Part of being in a relationship is compromise. You both have to be mature enough to talk this one out. I don’t know how your conversations are going, but if you just say, “no, absolutely not, they’re not coming,” he may be defensive and push back for pride. Neither of those attitudes are effective communication techniques.

Explain your anxiety. Explain that you want it to just be who you’re comfortable with. Explain the risks of exposing a brand new baby to too many people/germs. Explain that you’ll be exhausted and overwhelmed. Just don’t throw out ultimatums or law without expecting some push back.

The hospital where I delivered wouldn’t even let anyone (aside from the 2 support people in the delivery room) to see the family for 3 hours. They called it the magic hours because it’s for family bonding/skin-to-skin contact, etc.

All that to say, no, you’re not a bitch for wanting the birth of your child to go a certain way. You’re not a bitch for having anxiety and wanting to bond with your child. You’re not a bitch for wanting to protect yourself and your brand new baby from germs and overstimulation. You might, however, be letting hormones get the best of you when trying to discuss your birth plan. No one “wins” this argument. If at the end of the day you still can’t agree, you can tell the nurse no one is allowed back and they won’t buzz anyone in. They’re pretty tight with security at most hospitals and won’t let more than 3-5 guests onto the recovery floor anyways.

Just be cognizant of how and what you’re saying. If you fight or either of you feel disrespected, there could be a black cloud over your delivery day. Odds are that he’ll bend on almost anything once you deliver your child. Men can’t fully comprehend what the labor experience is like until they’ve seen it. Just see how it goes and remember he’s your partner in this.