Boyfriend’s Perfect Ex Looming Over Our Relationship

The relationships a person has can give you a lot of insight into the person you're with.

Perhaps said ex is all of these great things, and more. So what? There was to their relationship a crucial and necessary element that became a long-term deal breaker. In a black and white world, sure, everything else is supposed to go down the toilet with that. But relationships are infinitely more complex than that.

Even if you are pretending to be very casual about this. That's all it is. It's pretend. And in time, your jealousies will manifest. They always do. And speaking from experience, and you've said this yourself, but let me reaffirm that for you--you don't want to be the jealous bf. It will only serve as a form of toxicity in your relationship. Because even if you got exactly what you wanted, i.e., the ex completely disappearing from the picture, but it happens on account of your doing. That will compromise the integrity of your relationship, of that, you can be sure.

Relationships are complex things and can take on just about any form. And in every relationship there's going to be a period of coming to terms with the relationship dynamics your partner has with the people in his life. And this is as much about him as it is about you. Because you are there to be a part of each other's lives, and especially this early in the game. Be especially mindful about wanting to re-arrange his furniture so quickly, so to speak.

Great people often have great relationships. And if there are qualities in your partner that you think are beautiful and worth loving, you can bet that other people have seen it too. Same goes for his ex. And the same is true for you. Don't feel the need to have to compare. And don't feel the need to have to monopolize his love. You are also the source of your own beautiful qualities.

In the end, you might be just another person in between, or you could be his next greatest thing. But don't sabotage the latter by being overly concerned about being the former. Know your own worth. And know what works for you and what doesn't. Don't be afraid to walk away, but be prepared to live with the cost of not knowing.

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