[OP]

I'm using the term "brainwashing" loosely, so I'm not necessarily referring to brainwashing in the technical sense. More just something like it.

Have any other INFP's (or ENFP's) experienced this? (Prefer to limit responses to INFP's and ENFP's for now. Thanks.)

I recently freed myself from a long-term friendship with an INFJ, and I feel so liberated. It occurred to me that for pretty much the entirety of the friendship, this former friend made me feel invalidated, all the while seeming supportive, which in the end just made me feel crazy and think she was superior to me, reinforcing feelings of inferiority within myself that I probably already started out with.

Even during the process of ending this friendship, though, I happened to encounter at least three other INFJ's.

One was a social worker who somehow got me to spill all sorts of things that I had vowed never to tell a professional, especially not one who I had just met. That day, following my opening up to him, I ended up getting into a really dangerous situation, which I attribute to my having let my boundaries get eroded when I shouldn't have. It was clear to me that that was due to the social worker.

As another example, the former friend who I referred to earlier and I got into a bit of a conflict once. She successfully resolved it, so that in the end we felt good about each other and both seemed to appreciate the other's perspective. In the process, I ended up saying something like how I think it's really possible that where she works (a hospital) is a good hospital. It wasn't until later that I realized that, no! even from my personal experiences of having been there, it's really not a good hospital at all. Even a doctor friend of mine confirmed my first-hand experiences and said it isn't a good hospital. Yet this INFJ friend got me to somehow say it. It wasn't until later that it struck me that this INFJ friend had never understood even the most basic of my concerns, except on a really surface level. Yet the conflict was "resolved" and she got me to feel happy about things while I was interacting with her.

Another time, I met another social worker who (I think but I'm not sure) was also INFJ. He also got me to spill much more to him that I had intended (although this time I kept a few important boundaries). One time I met with him, I expressed a few boundaries that are important to me and when I found out they couldn't all be met, I said I wanted to think about whether to work with his center - and somehow, after I said, "I would like to think about it," he convinced me to then and there decide to work with his center. (It isn't something I regret, but I'm marveling at how he convinced me to something when I typically am good at enforcing my boundaries.)

I'm sorry this is so long-winded.

Having ended the long-term friendship with the INFJ, I feel stronger, more attuned to myself, and more equipped to deal with what other INFJ's might throw my way. Nevertheless, this tendency I've noticed of them to influence me a certain way, almost beyond my choosing, remains disturbing to me.

I'm hesitant to write off any type completely, but from my limited experience, they have started to really scare me, as it seems they have a way of overriding my deep/true feelings with their own (less deep?) feelings and thoughts. These interactions make me not only uncomfortable but also depressed, as I feel they are forming a pattern of quashing my real self and feelings.

Interested in hearing from other xNFP's about if you might know what I'm talking about.

tldr; At least three INFJ's I've met have gotten me to do things, say things, or agree to things that I typically would never do, say, or agree to. Each time, it wasn't until later that I realized that the interactions hadn't been as fulfilling as they initially seemed. In contrast, in all of those instances, I not only felt unable to honestly voice important concerns of mine, but I even put the concerns aside in my head while interacting with them. This disturbs me and I am curious if other INFP's or ENFP's have had similar experiences with INFJ's.

Thanks.