BREAKING: Illinois Gov. J.B. Pritzker will order all restaurants across the state to be closed to dine-in customers in a further attempt to curb the coronavirus. Delivery and drive up will remain open. This’ll be effective end of business tomorrow.

The numbers really don't support that. 30 cases in a state of 12.74 million people gives us less than one case per 400,000 people. Worrying about odds like that is like moving to Tulsa, hearing that there will probably be a murder in town somewhere, some time this year and screaming "OMG! I'm doomed! Why did nobody warn me about the mean streets of Oklahoma?"

except ... guess how many of those cases have been fatalities?

Zero. None. Not one. Meaning that Tulsa would be more of a threat than the virus.

Delivery and drive up will remain open? How lovely for rich people with cars, people for whom delivery charges are nothing. But as for some of the rest of us, I guess the governor has a different message.

"And if you're still waiting for the stove to be installed in your apartment and will be left with nothing to eat because of this, we hope you'll be a good sport and starve quietly. Come on, man, we have a panic to cash in in. Be reasonable."

I suppose I could get a hot plate and cook my own dinner, and I would, but panicky nut jobs like you have stripped the shelves of the stores in my Chicago neighborhood clean, so that plan is going to run into a problem. If I can't buy it, I can't cook it. So what I and a number of people whose lives had already been thrown into upheaval (because the owner of our building wanted those sweet, sweet deductions that gut rehabs make possible) are going to have to do is wander the not terribly safe streets, searching for food that hasn't already been hoarded by rich half-wits like the one I saw in Jewel yesterday, cart loaded up with a few weeks worth of highly perishable produce, a quarter of a watermelon sitting on top of it all. Their purchases are going to spoil before they get eaten, but that's OK. If one is rich, I guess one can afford to be stupid. But guess what? Not everybody is.

We get to keep looking, meaning that Pritzker's faux-paternalistic gesture will result in us being out more, not less. Count the number of shootings in Chicago during a year. Our risk level won't be going down because of this. It will be going up. But I guess you're OK with that, Sheahoforsho, because rich suburban lives are the only ones that count?

Picture getting to deal with a gang member while weak from hunger and looking for food. Thanks. Really.

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