Bring Elijah home to Daizey

After more consideration, and another state visit where Jenn... The kids worker has stated they have no plan to move my grandson to my care to be with his sister uncle and of course myself... Where he can see his mother and father whenever they can see him. Where he will never have to move again. I have a 4 bedroom home bought it 8 years ago fenced in yard play structure pool everything a kid needs. He right now has moved twice since going with the kelson's and lives in a motel apt. Off rt. 1 in North Hampton. where does he play? Two schools! With that it is not a permanent home it's a job! Elijah cry's every week to stay. Tells everyone he wants to live with Grammie Jessica. But I got a DWI 19 months ago and the won't look past it. They won't listen to the truth and only see the unproven lies my Sister has told. They are forcing me to get a lawyer and fight them all. I have given the letter after letter on my character. My family has told them and it is a sad sad day when the state supposed to protect the young hold their heads high with no proof. I have not lied to them I own my mistakes but how long does Elijah have to suffer because of my past actions? To be placed where he is just a pay check! When I have help my sister over and over it makes me sick the lies in her heart. It's disgusting a real sickness to hurt a child this way let alone your own sister who repeatedly has saved you!! Sick! in court last date five lawyers all went against the state as they are destroying two young lives. The judge gave more time. However it seems these kids and this heroin shit have no intention on crossing the finish line. I have no choice but to beg for mercy, beg for help, see where I can get before trying to take out a loan against the house. I am trying not to get in a situation where I win custody and lose the security of a home for my babies... Thanks in advance for any and all help given to help my family be one again! if you cannot help just pass alone I wish to hurt no one ! I have pasted some resent posts.... I have been told over and over to start a go fund me page as many would defiantly help me get the funds to catch up and or even just get this lawyer I desperately need.. I see and I should and should have but I being me am full of pride and to me it's me failing and begging strangers for help with a situation I created by trusting others. Having gone from no debt making 40 + thousand a year to thirty thousand in the hole making the same and then less with th dwi paying for it and drivers and everything to get to all those jobs pay all these things to help save everyone in my family gladly.. Not for seeing the lies would drag this out so so long with no end in sight!! I am to proud I can't and don't ask for help with anything life is hard enough for everyone!! So pray for us pray for my grandson and please please please pray for my Ex sister who in my opinion needs the prayers more than we do! She will ultimately lose the most in the end I am sure of it she will suffer the lose of a child's love all over again! However this time she also loses some much needed love and support from family! I Pray the Gods Goddesses forgive her because I don't think I can... And if I ever do it will be because she finds the error in her ways and tells the truth while she still can !! This is not about me not about her its not about the problems my Daughter is fighting It's about these two beautiful babies that do not deserve the choices they are face with... Separated from all they know and the chance the will not grow up together as brother and sister it's about their mental health all these things my grandson is old enough to feel even more so now than two years ago the years of close watch to see when these inside thoughts of why was I not good enough to stay why doesn't my family love me why doesn't my family need me why are they sending me away why does everyone else get to stay grammie?? Ahhh the straight up heart break its killing me and I am just again thankful for all the support one way or another that has been giving during the last week.. Support and love Thanks again and hopeful I will go back to my responsibilities with a clear head heart and soul finally secure in that fact We are on the same page!! Sorry again for all the time consuming your pages!

J Uhm ... Yes and no.. Let's be clear I had no intent on the set free part.. I had a Uhm I see we are having issues with trust mostly ... Not miss trust just fear based on how others have acted to us.. Fearing that hurt builds walls not foundations built to last as the one you have built over the years with Dana! Lucky for you too you had two beautiful reasons to fight never mind the time before those boys.. We do not have either of those things to fight for and let's face it the pain is really not worth it if your going to end up alone! Empty and hurt closed to let anyone close... You know me very very well.. He doesn't his friends although very supportive do not know me! I am not a liar and I most definitely am not a cheater .. Fear I told you it wasn't him it wasn't me .. At the same time it's both of us... Fear! But where did it come from... Neither having really done nothing!!! I looked and searched and cried and cried .. Not because oh him! But how was I going to get him to see me trust me prove myself again ... We needed this and I am thankful we both were tested we both were driven straight in to the most fearful situation ... Many would never return from where we were just forces to go straight on in to sit in the hurt that ugly feeling of loved ones letting us down or even not supporting each other maybe not paying enough attention to notice a trip a slip a fall missing the catch before the landing! We sat in there for 7 days till I saw completely saw how even just my inattentive crazy schedule spread so thin and holding on so tight to everything I love afraid of failing them yes my love is living breathing love you can take everything I own and leave me nothing but my loved one my circle my family and I will work my ass off to again get them what they need to survive and prosper! They are reflections of my love... I am so afraid to lose even one as I have already lost Elijah and no matter how much I work I can't save him yet and my loved one has a hand In That a small change little Mia truths and I am a monster who is dangerous to my grandson! That broke me broke me broke me... But I needed to learn my lesson and even though it was no a sober choice I did not decide to drive I choose a driver again proof the universe pushes us I never having lost anything I loved from my life of drinking my children did not go without what they wanted but they went with out me well enough of me working the two and three job to support them the way I felt they deserved even though I knew they deserved more then deserved a family not just family they have that any that chose could and do and always had tho opportunity to be in their lives family my core value the fact no one pays but me so what not the family's fault or child ! I am me its all I can and want to be I am amazing my family and circle are amazing .. Now I am not giving up on Elijah and I promised in the start I will prove it you know you have seen all on here have seen my grandkids from day one they are mine ours not oh you screwed up your no good! Uhm lets not throw stones when our wall are thin shattering glass of your lies! You have your God and I have my Team of Gods Goddesses I have rebuilt our marriage to be strong because I Need Andrew to be even Stronger than he ever has had to be.. I need him to be open and supportive both as sensitive and empathetic our moods play our emotion and our drive where his mood dictates mine mine pushes him.. We are know truly one and on the same level ground .. We will work apart to finish up our debts so when the time comes and my My Ex sister continues with her lies for what ever reason I will sell everything I own to fight her everything everything everything my grandson belongs here everyone knows it except the state who of course listen to the church going crying so sweet and honest no problems Ex sister! I have tried to resin with them and got myself a restraining order built on lies and one truth I did say your dead to me!! Uhm and explained Uhm yes no longer In my life never to save you again and this time unlike the other three times I said that this is my family my baby your lies make suffer make him cry every week when I have to force him back to you why why why grammie I want to stay with you I want you I want sissy I want Joey cry and cry and hold o. And I break having to drag him out and I break and I break they are abusing my grandson I can't help him because I helped everyone else till I can not afford the 15 to 25 thousand for a lawyer to fight the state while that Ex lying sister owes me over ten grand yes me the single mother who stayed with her children who didn't leave them for a man it disgusts me.. Go and pray to your God you will need all the help keeping him from me once I only have her to fight in court! Less money more time to finish up my obligation and promises to Joey So you see I needed this I need him us to be unbreakable we need to be!! When life breaks me weekly I can not be faltering I must stand tall and straight ready for anything Love love and please pray for my tormented soul to have the love strong around me and mine to succeed to not faulted

"Not my kids nor family"

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