Hunny, hiking and going to bars isn't mutually exclusive. You sound judgemental AF. Those gays that go "grinding every night" are few and far between (because what places have a big enough nightlife outside of major cities support that), but they're enjoying themselves from what 10pm to 2pm/12am to 4am? They lead lives outside of that. They have jobs, hobbies, hopes, dreams, etc.
You sound like you need a therapist to get over your own internalized traumas. That fact that you don't have any gay friends says a lot more about you than you think, it's the straight girl equivalent of "I'm not like other girls."
I live with four other gay men, one's an amateur chef and lighting designer, one is hiking every other weekend, one is parked at a beach every other day during the summer, one plays with makeup, and in between making bank I have kinky fuckfests and take care of my rare tropical plants.