Broke a million karma just now. I don't know if that calls for any celebration, so here's a sketch of some statues.

Welcome to the club. Let me introduce you around.

That pale-looking lad furiously diddling his iPhone is /u/NotAMethAddict. He's the most well-spoken 18 year old you're likely to meet. But please please don't talk about how hot his sister is. It won't be easy since she's wicked hot, but you just can't.

The fellow that looks like Joel McHale is known as /u/way_fairer. Many people think that he and I are the same person. We are not. Notice how he is staring bullets at NotAMethAddict, though? There's been drama between them. It's a long story but the essence of it is that they are secretly in love with each other.

Let's see...Oh! /u/StickleyMan. He's a nice guy, even by Canadian standards. He also give the best massages. Not regular massages, mind you. His speciality is the prostate. And let me tell you, the man's a Goddamned artist. He has the fingers of a young Liberace, only Sticky seems to have an eleventh finger.

Where's /u/AndrewSmith1986 you ask? He is no longer with us. No he's not dead. Its worse: shadowbanned.

Over there sipping on the appletini is /u/Apostolate. He's taking time away from karmawhoring t finish up his law degree. I know, what a loser. Nobody really cares about him anyway.

And finally, /u/Unidan. You might know him as "The Excited Biologist." He is beloved by Reddit in large part because he will always take a break from doing experiments on kittens to answer a Reddit "summon." Betwen you and me, his whole act gets a bit old after awhile. Like, I'm sure he'll be over here any second to tell me about how the foam in my beer is formed by microbacteria fucking each other or something.

I guess I should introduce myself, as well. I'm /u/_vargas_. You probably are familiar with my dick jokes. But I'm about more than that. I also like poop jokes. My spelling is terible and I frequently speak of my love for Scarlett Johansson (I love you, ScarJo! Ghost World was the bomb, yo!).

So that's everyone. Feel free to mingle. Grab a beer and a plate of deli meat we have laid out. Also, we have a little tradition. The newest member of the Million Comment Karma Club gets teabagged by all the other members. Its like an initiation of sorts. So, you know, you've got that to look forward to. Take it from me, keep your jaw loose and relax. It will be much less unpleasant.

/r/funny Thread Link - i.imgur.com