I broke my finger today...

So two security guards are discussing their fetishes, and, through the discussions both come to find out they are both seriously into womens feat, mostly due to the fact that they have access to dressing room cameras that allow them to see the calves and feet of all of the women as they change. Thus prompting them to establish elaborate sexual fantasies around the woman and what they can pick up from their lower legs, if they paint their toenails, their shoes, their calluses, how toned their calves are from their athleticism, etc. One day they both go into the monitor room and see the most beautiful pair of legs they have ever seen and collectively articulate a grand romantic fantasy that they wish to be a part of with the woman they belong to. Eventually they become so infatuated that one says he is going to ask her out, and leaves to go talk to her, but first decided to rub one out for clarity. When he comes back from the bathroom he sees that his colleague has gathered his courage and has already started knocking on the dressing room stall. "Excuse me mam' could I speak to you for a second?" he says. "What is the meaning of this?" replys a deep, male voice.

"Um, sir?"


"If you are in fact a 'sir', then you can't be in here, this is the ladies dressing room."

"Oh my god! This is so embarrassing! I will get out of here as soon as I can!"

The man fully clothes himself in a heartbeat and exist the room, apologizing profusely: "...and again I am terribly sorry I was not in there for anything other than my utter ineptitude, please don't take it the wrong way."

"Oh, it's not a problem, happens to the best of us."

"So, what did you want to see me about?" inquired the man.


"you know, why were you in there originally?"

"Oh you know, standard guard policy."

"It's standard policy to randomly knock on dressing room doors?"

"Well, you were acting a little suspicious."


"Yeah, you looked like you were ready to steal clothes"

"So you fallow anyone who looks like they might be ready to steal clothes when they go into the ladies dressing room?"

"Well yeah, ESPECIALLY if they're a man."

"Makes sense. But I was in there for 20 minutes, so if you really saw me enter the dressing room, why did you take so long?"


"And why did you call me 'mam?"

"Womens dressing room."

"But you said you were keeping tabs on me in the store because I looked suspicious. How could you see me being suspicious and then not know what gender that suspicious person is? Please, explain to me how that happens."

"Well, uh, you see, heh, me and my colleague here... it seems we have just gotten off on the wrong foot."

/r/Jokes Thread