honestly I feel it man, my girlfriend whom I just started to have strong feelings for broke up with me for the most bullshit reasons. in tandem with the stuff with Kobe and having no one in real life to share it with it's been the 2nd hardest period ever. I feel like at 28 my life is passing me by and it's hard to see it getting better. but I've learned all too much the hard way that death is change, death has to be inspiration, and that you can't keep staying the lackluster course you're on and hope things get better. so right now I'm trying to let Kobes life teach me something, so he can keep going with me. I'm getting to the gym and eating better and doing everything I can to get myself to the peak of where I can be. hopefully getting myself to a point where the kind of person I want to share my life with will find me worth being around.

thank you Kobe, i wish I could've affected your life in the way you affect mine