I broke up with my INFJ because she was treating me poorly

Your situation reminds me of an old story of someone who I shared a very deep, symbolic, but somewhat silent cosmic connection Ive never experienced before.
When I first met him, I was very giggly, nieve, and loving during his darkness. Despite whatever, we just shared some connection that I honestly can't even describe. I tried to comfort him through my love. I didn't want to burden him knowing his status at that time and also with my own complications. When I went at it alone, I experienced some traumatic situation which scarred me physically and emotionally. I suffered alone and I accepted that I would never meet him again. Our path at that time was too different. However, I missed him so much, but I couldn't face him. So anonymously, I wanted to buy one of his taco figurines he had an obsession of creating and selling on his eBay account as a memorabilia. Stupid me, I revealed some personal info where he recognized me. I thought he wouldn't know, but I needed him to trust me somewhat so he would give me a discount. Anyways, he went off at me. I was crushing with pain, not wanting to upset him. He gave me enough strength to believe maybe it is possible again and he's worth fighting for. Long story short, we reconnected like we are destined forever. However, maybe I was relieved feeling like he was my cosmic connection, I literally poured all my darkness and sadness onto him I held so tightly in my heart. When I think back now, I was much more traumatized than what I thought. My outpour was killing him. So I pushed him away again, hoping he would finally leave. Maybe he was upset or didn't understand, but I think he somewhat moved on here and there. This also stirred my jealousy. I do believe he knows it's not a good idea to be with me and he doesn't even know half of what I was going through then.

The point is I can't be with him or anyone when Im miserable. I know that will make him miserable. Thus circling the misery back to me as I can feel his soul. Then I will have to fake my misery to make him happy. This is why I chose and still choose to not to contact him. To return to myself, it will take too long. And I do hope he moves on with more wisdom. And I won't disturb that ever again. But I will never forget him as my one and true cosmic connection.

Sometimes just a cosmic connection alone won't sustain in this world. Everything is based on timing, circumstances, etc etc...

So know you had a special connection. However, you have to move on with your life and your goal is to find happiness. Do not wait for her, even if you know she'll contact you again or not. Promise me.

/r/infj Thread