I burned down my house when I was 17

Hey, I'm a bit older than you but I feel like we are in the same boat. It has taken me a long ass time to get up off my ass but I'm doing it step by step.

Break the things you want into smaller components and work to achieve them piecemeal. You want to be loved? Find someone! You want to be fit? Exercise/diet! Yes, I am aware of how stupid that sounds but just take steps in that direction and don't be afraid to slip up. Maybe start with going out and have a conversation with a stranger at a coffee shop, or start running a few blocks every day. There is no failure for trying: only victory or a lesson learned. Rise (no matter how hard it is) and take steps forward (no matter how tiny they are) and eventually you will have the things you want. If you're better than the person you were yesterday, than even an inch of progress is fantastic. Suicide is not the answer, it is an escape your mind has lied to you about. Dying only shifts your pain and sorrow onto the people you love and who love you, believe that. Why do that when you have it in your power to conquer that pain? It only takes a moment of bravery to overcome a lifetime of fear.

Motivational talks/quotes/videos are great, but only if you do something with them. Do not let fear control your life: stagnation is much more terrifying than failure. You and I both know that. Right now you have the advantage of time, one you will never get back, so I implore you to use it. You're young, get out there and see what life has to offer. Change is not easy but change will save your life and it start and ends with you alone. If you know what your weaknesses are then you must actively do something to control or delete them. What you are doing so far has brought you to where you are, if you want something different you have to do something different. Took me a long ass time to make that simple realization and you've made it when you're 19, props.

Life is what you make it. Fight the good fight, you are not alone.

/r/depression Thread