I'm not going to lie, I thought this was fantastic. It was effortless for me to read this exactly how you meant it, which is part of the reason I like it. Your lines and pauses fall on the right beats and just make one idea flow after the next. I imagined someone rapping this with out a beat and it was sound great.

The only criticism I would have is your last line, because it seems so different that it kind of ends this epic tangent on a bad note. Kind of like if you were in the middle of listening to a song and then it just stops suddenly; it kind of leave you hanging. I understand that can be used as a device, but the last words "which is my largest fault" leave me confused and wondering what just happened rather than "whoa...I need to take a moment and digest what I just hear" which is what you should get from this. "Which is my largest fault" is going to make me leave the room and go "Fault? So wait..what was his largest fault?"

As a reader that part confused me. Other than that i'd say, it's really good.