I used to have a really bad issue with caffeine.

I would take around a GRAM of caffeine at a time for an intense whirl-around of feeling like shit and having an extremely upset stomach.

Basically I started developing excruciating migraine that have subsided.

This was also accompanied by my lack of hydration, food intake, and even the effect caffeine played on my intestines and pissing....

However I loved the feeling of being super awake. I loved feeling invincible (even though I'd start vomiting and feel like shit). There was also a euphoric feeling, and a feeling of empowerment.

I had really bad issues with sleeping, that was so fleeting I almost had to always take benadryl and Trazodone to knock myself out at night

This eventually lead to me not being able to sleep or at least no be able to sleep consistently and comfortably.

When I finally realised how much damage I was doing to myself it was too late, I had already been starting to exhibit signs of schizophrenia, including hallucinations, auditory and visual, and was showing extreme signs of suicidal behavior.

If you have an addiction to caffeine I'd highly recommend you get help. And by get help I mean I want you to really think about if all of the negative that come from your use are with it. I want you to research what caffeine does and how it affects you, and get off of this stuff.

This is not saying that you should completely cut out caffeine, I'm saying that showing signs of obsessive, addictive behavior towards a substance is not healthy.

Learnt to cycle and find other chemicals that suit your needs besides just caffeine.

I've pretty much spent my last year of recovery trying to find viable replacements.

If anyone would like to know more I'd be glad to offer more info.