I came out of my lonely corner but it seems like I'm slowly going back into it....

Geez, I’m saddened to hear all the efforts you’ve made only to end up feeling lonely again.

No one here knows you, so it’s impossible for us to know why. Maybe the people in your life are just self-centered and inconsiderate (there’s a lot of them), or maybe there’s something you’ve done or said that’s bothered them. Have you asked any of them about any of this? In my experience, people are too “nice” and too conflict avoidant to be forthcoming and truthful, but it can’t hurt to ask. I’d also recommend getting a therapist to help you feel confident and supported when trying to make new friends again.

I’m probably your mom’s age, and I’ve been broken-hearted by friends many times. A third possibility is maybe you and your friends were never great matches. When I look back, one thing I realize is that I never really critically chose my friends. I was like a golden retriever and friends with anyone who seemed reasonably nice, smart, sought my company, etc. and I put my effort into them instead of better choices. Instead, I should have been pickier and also pursued people who I might have liked better and are more like me, even if I needed to go out of my comfort zone to do it. I feel like many of my so-called friends eventually noticed that I’m not that much like them, and they separated from me once I was no longer convenient (one of us moved away, our lives went in different directions, etc.).

Hope some of these suggestions help. I especially hope you can go to a therapist to help you deal with the friend issue. You’re still young, so if they can help you build lifelong friendships, that would be lovely. Depending on where you live, it can get harder when you’re older. Hugs to you in getting the kind of friends you really want and deserve! You may just have to try some new approaches to finding friends or how you’re a friend or who you invest in, but you can do it!

/r/lonely Thread