I'm going +10 to +15 MPH over the speed limit in bumfuck Texas. I'm actually ON CALL and ON THE WAY to the shithole hospital in BFE Texas for an actual emergency.

Some big ass fucking dually truck starts tailgaiting the shit out of me, so I pull to the right to let them pass. Then, the fucking driver of the truck decides not to pass me. So I get back in front of the truck, and haul ass to the hospital.

MOTHER FUCKER GETS THREE FEET AWAY FROM MY BUMPER AGAIN AND STARTS FLASHING HIS BRIGHTS, so I pull to the right again. Still doesn't pass.

I pull back in front of the fucker and brake check him when he GETS THREE FEET BEHIND MY ASS AGAIN. He continues to follow me until I pull into the hospital lot.

FUCK YOU ASSHOLE I'M ACTUALLY GOING SOMEWHERE FOR A REASON AND I DON'T NEED YOUR SHIT.

Honestly, I don't want this to happen, but it'd be nice if one of them bumped me a little because the conversation with the police would be hilarious.

redneck "This guy was speeding so I made sure he'd get stopped by y'all by bumping him."

officer "Sir, were you speeding? And did he bump you?"

me "Yep. I'm on call at BLANK hospital and I got paged. I'm on the way for surgery, although it's probably too late now. But yes, he bumped me and made me pull over."

officer "OK, sir, since you bumped him you're clearly at fault and we've got his info. Looks like you're spending the night in jail for vehicular assault, we'll pass all of the arrest information on to your insurance before you get out..."