The part that eats at me is that even when I spend a long time trying to understand something (in math and programming) and eventually figure it out, it doesn't stick. I'll have my "ah hah!" moment. But then when I revisit it a day later, or even a few hours later, (and occasionally, even a few minutes later), that "ah hah!" moment has disappeared and I'm just as lost as I was the first time around.

In terms of programming, I'm just glad that I got that piece of code out, it works, and that I can move on - scared to even touch it. Math is a bit different since the "ah hah" moments are more for my brain rather than for a tangible finished product.

Each time this happens, it really makes me wonder why I spend so long trying to understand these things when I know I'm just going to forget it all momentarily. So far, I've got by in programming by relying on comments within code (both for other people's code and even my own. I'm that programmer who writes something, and then moments after writing it, is perplexed at what I just wrote and cannot even begin to try to replicate the thought process). I think relying on comments is the programming equivalent of memorizing a mathematical rule/theorem instead of truly understanding the concept/proof inside and out.

Is this normal? Another user mentioned "imposter syndrome," but I'm having a hard time picturing all these confident mathematicians and engineers struggling as much as me at such a rudimentary level...