Im Ryan, Im 22, m, white from hesperia, I live near the corner of 5th and sultana. I have aspergers, Bipolar II, ADHD and PTSD, and disgustingly horrible depression and anxiety. Im not a bummer to hang out with though cause I only talk about it when prompted, Im a fun guy to be around I think Im not a dick to anyone, I always respect people's homes, property, space, privacy, etc... I was bullied all throughout school cause I skipped a grade and was "super smart", but that only lasted through grade school and once I hit college stuff got way harder and I wasn't medicated or seeing anyone for therapy at that time so I took it hard.
I've made lots of mistakes in my life which is one reason why I'm depressed, but Im also depressed cause my birth parents were meth heads who abandoned me to live with my paternal grandparents, who both have mental disorders and who argue with each other all the time about nonsense; paranoia is rampant and it doesn't matter what you say nothing gets through, it's just a circle so I stopped getting involved in my grandparents arguments a long time ago... (when I said parents in my post I meant grandparents, confusing I know)
Im sure you can tell by my username and post history that I am a big history buff, I study it everyday and I think it's the most important thing in the world, but I know not everyone thinks like me.
I almost went to war once, I got $13k worth of credit cards and bought plane tickets, hotels, clothes and supplies to get ready to fly to Iraq to get smuggled into Syria to fight with the YPG, which is basically the Kurdish armed forces (Peshmerga is more like spec ops), and the YPG allows for foreign volunteers, they'll take anyone cause the war is so brutal they're losing people more than they can recruit them
I was on my way there and I flew as far as Texas where I was to get my passport from and fly to stockholm then to sulaymaniyah, iraq, I had all the equipment, all the supplies, I had a phone with 10 - 15 fully charged batteries cause I knew there was no electricity where I was going, I had medical supplies and cigarettes for the troops, everything was set... I had more than enough money, I could have gone to strip clubs or bars and spend hundreds of dollars and Id still have plenty left over to fly to iraq and live there, you know you can have a hotel room and eat a full day's worth of food for less than $10 in kurdish iraq? and I had THOUSANDS Point is, I decided not to go, and thats why Im in hesperia.
This happened in June 2015, and the reason I didnt go is cause on the plane ride to texas I was on my laptop and I read an article about how ISIS just put out a $200,000 reward on all foreign fighters going to join the YPG, and that SCARED THE SHIT out of me. I didnt mind going to a warzone, picking up a rifle and getting shot at (even knowing Id regret it the second I got there), but the thing that scared me the most was ISIS and capture, cause ISIS doesn't just capture you, they torture you, and they do stuff that hasn't been seen since the middle ages. Drowning is nothing, beheading is nothing (even when its one of those 30 second ones with the knife), getting shot is nothing... but ISIS likes to burn people to make points. They like to flay people and display their corpses. And here I am, a 21 year old kid from Hesperia, CA, flying to Sulaymaniyah, Iraq to meet a woman named Kader Kadandir to get smuggled into Syria to fight with the kurds, who are currently fighting turkey, ISIS, Assad, US-backed Syrian rebels, and al-quaeda.
I got too scared and I quit, and it was the worst decision I ever made as far as I'm concerned, cause my parents fight more than ever and my bankruptcy cost me $1k which was paid for by the insurance money by the car accident I had where I totaled my car, which is why I have no car now.
So here I sit, a 22 year old man living at home with parents who fight, but I don't have enough money to move out, Im way too depressed to work (I am currently on a TON of meds and theyre adding more and more and still nothing changes, and therapy is the same questions/coping mechanisms over and over that don't work for me).
Don't get me wrong, this isn't a "boo hoo poor me, aww..."... only reason I tell you all this is cause I want you to know at least part of my backstory, and I want to be friends with one of you cause you live nearby and I dont have any friends in hesperia cause all my friends from high school left to go to universities
So yes, if I could make a friend out of this experience too I would be most appreciative as well, cause all I do all day is sit in my room while my parents fight and break things