0,5. Transgendered? So you are heterosexualed. The -ed would imply someone made you that way, not that you simply are that way.
1. If she identifies as a woman, why would you call her a man? Doesn't make logical sense.
2. If you understand the first point, then there's no need to explain the second.
3. Firstly because brain is much more resilient and heals mental trauma much easier than body heals physical, secondly because of what was first. If you can't change the brain then you change the body. And brainwashing someone is unethical. Sure, you could do that. But then that wouldn't be a person anymore, just a brainwashed husk.
4. Why assume anything? You should focus on waht you know than on what you don't. If I go to Africa or Japan I expect to be surprised by their culture. If I went to someone else's brain I would expect to be surprised by it too. No need to assume he's a perfect clone of me.
I don't know you, and I understand the legitimacy of these questions, but they stink of my father. He's one of the reasons I have to move away to start my therapy. So here, as a bonus, you now understand why people might hate your views.
Solution I would suggest to this problem is open your mind. Not everything is black and white and not everyone is heterosexual. Never were, never will. The only difference between now and Ancient Egypt or Rome is the fact that we have the tools to help those troubled people. Brain is not something you want to mess with. Brain is resilient and body is durable, but the latter can be shaped or reshaped whilst the former can only bend so far before leaving you with severe trauma.