I speak for no one but myself.

Of all the voices I've heard claim to speak for autism, the loudest, most widespread voices have been from those without autism. Autistic self adocates are fringe, a voice you really have to go looking for save for when the non-autistics wanted tokens to show support for their voice/s.

You ask for autistic persons to be silent, because only you can speak for your child and those like her. Because you don't see us in her. Autism shut up and listen to the "autism parent".

You suggest that people with autism are the problem for why you can not give your daughter a voice.

You accuse "us" of being "us versus them" and propose a kind of a truce, where we give up talking for ourselves and conceed verthything and you give "us" nothing?

Yes, that is surely the decent thing for us to do, to be quiet, for us to accept that people like your daughter will never have their own voice only for you. For us to accept that the damage done to us emotionally by well meaning parents can not be helped, but can not even be heard to save others from similar experiences.

I say I can speak for myself but it's a lie. I howl at the wind. No one listens. And then we offend a priviledged autism mom, yes you are doing it tough, I know a few autism parents myself, some with autism themselves.

If you want others to respect you, you need to be prepared to show them respect some back. My heart bleeds for families struggling, but not for mothers who wear "autism mom" as a badge on social media and apparently the worst problem they face is autistic people trying to be heard and showing too much empathy.