I want to be good and happy, but I can't seem to get past all the baggage.

This is where I hop on my soapbox and tell you to show yourself a little love.

By your own account, you're trapped in a cycle of cynicism; you've put yourself out there in the past and you've been hurt. Your work situation sucks. You're unable to confide in your siblings. You have a chip on your shoulder. The list goes on.

*Now, let's set aside this pile of grief for a moment, and, with a fresh pair of eyes, see if we can pinpoint any assets/accomplishments you've got under your belt that are worth celebrating.

How about this: you have a good heart. You want to treat people well. You've kept a steady job for two years. You have parents that support you. You're getting help for yourself. You know what you want in a relationship. You're reaching out for advice. You're learning about yourself, about your own desires in life. You've been bullied, harassed, kicked around, but did you give up? Did you quit your job? No-- you stuck it out.

Again, soapbox, but from where I'm standing, that looks like a lot to celebrate. Is your life perfect? No, but you're working on it. You've got to learn to give yourself permission to fail, to learn from those failures, and more importantly, to take this process one day at a time.

I want to be in a relationship, I want to feel happy & love someone & just have someone I can confide in, but I can't get this chip off my shoulder.

I can't say for certain that you'll find someone that'll make you happy. I can, however, say that unless you get the monkey off your back, you're going to find it next to impossible. So start small: smile. Take a deep breath knowing that you're working on the problem. Celebrate that. Celebrate your strength, and when you're ready for it, put yourself out there. You've got this.

Just my two cents.