I will admit that I will never understand those that wish for degradation (SPH, for example). It's not a value judgement, just a personal inability to comprehend.

Like, I get people who are into spanking, whipping, physical stuff. What I don't understand are those asking for emotional punishment. It doesn't seem healthy, and mental health is something we have difficulty acknowledging in this country (among others).

Whether or not you believe it, you have inherent worth as a human being. Perhaps instead of punishment, you need people to build you up to remind you of that?

None of this means you have to be "goody-goody" or puritanical. You can totally get your freak on, explore kinks, engage in dirty talk, flirt, whatever gets you hot and aching. Just work to internalize that you are worthy of love and dignity, no matter how much people in your past or present have tried to signal otherwise.