Another way to look at it is acceptance.

My drinking was similar to yours. I drank to get drunk and even if I had the best intentions (to moderate), ultimately I'd end up relapsing.

When I finally accepted that I simply couldnt moderate, honestly things got a lot easier. Acceptance isn't judgement. It isn't declaring that I am weak, a failure, or anything of the sort. It's just recognizing, "it is what it is." Nature designed us this way. I might as well complain about being right-handed, ha. There are zillions of people like us.

Resisting is what causes us a lot more stress. Maybe you feel bad at the moment, but I bet the sting will wear off as you start to feel genuinely better physically and mentally.

Gratz on day 6...the best is yet to come!