I mean it’s more guilt I hold on to you know?

Just I couldn’t really deal with her exes being recent and around her. I didn’t mind her being a bit controlling like wanting me to take my calls in front of her or wanting me to block a female friend who has a crush on me and having dreams of me cheating

But in the last fight I called her a “bitchy whore who gives bad head” and like faked a panic attack to get out of the fight

I tried to apologize for a week then she shoved the new guy in my face (I was always skeptical about him)

I know my side was very wrong and I was 5 years younger than her and immature at what I was doing

But

I just can’t seem to let go of it all