Can’t trust anyone enough to let anyone close or be in a relationship

The big thing is to not be reckless. People only have power over you if you give it to them. Don’t send nudes if you’re scared about them coming back to haunt you. Things like that. You can say what industry or job title you have, but you don’t have to say where for a while.

In reality you should definitely speak to a therapist about this. I don’t know if you’re at a place to hold a meaningful relationship. And I don’t mean that in a bad way, but you want to be a good partner and you want to be able to recognize finding a good partner for yourself. Therapy can help you with this.

But also keep in mind that you get out what you put in. If you’re only superficial on the info you share then you’ll likely not be finding good partners. Also never lie unless you’re in a dangerous situation, lies will come back and make you untrustworthy. instead of lying just be generic, “I was raised on the East coast” instead of saying “I grew up at X address and my parents still live there”. Eventually you will feel comfortable sharing specifics. It’s a two way street, you can’t not share but expect someone else to front everything the relationship needs.

This is why people date around. You meet someone, you talk about your interests, and you keep seeing them if there’s a connection. From that you will learn if you can trust them, you’ll slowly share more info. It’s great meeting someone you can be fully open with—and this takes time! There’s no rush to share things with someone.

My partner was the first to say he loved me. I was much more reticent at the start of our relationship but he helped me open up. We grow on our own, but relationships also help us grow. They don’t all work out, but it’s good to be able to share yourself with someone and get that back. Sadly not all people are good, but those are the exceptions—not the usual.

/r/relationship_advice Thread