Can trauma eventually turn me into a different personality type, or will i just become an emotionally hardened Infp?

I don't know the whole situation with your family, but the things you are doing and saying seem like they're valid. When you're younger and you depend on your family more, you 1. need them to be on your side more, so sometimes you have to sacrifice how you actually feel to keep the peace, and 2. don't have the perspective to be able to fully trust that they're doing something wrong: even if you feel strongly that it's bad, you might not realize or be able to prove that all families aren't like that, at least not enough to act on it. As a child, you're often quite powerless. Even if you say something, parents can just make up anything to explain it and you're kindof at their mercy. What are you supposed to do?

Combine that with a mom who sounds extremely manipulative, and she'll take advantage of those doubts and needs to keep you roped in. Then, when you get older and start feeling more sure in what you think and how you feel, not only are you mad about how they're treating you, you're mad at how they've always treated you, all at once. Maybe you're not a hardened or angry person inherently or permanently, you're just at a place in your life where you're finally safe enough to reopen all of the stuff that it wasn't safe to open before for your survival, and so it's all coming at once.

I think it's good that you're standing up for yourself. Maybe it's a bit unrefined right now, because you're not used to it, but that's a step in a process in the right direction. You didn't deserve any of that shit your family put you through but because you were their child, you didn't have much of a choice. Some people fold and stay under their abuser's thumbs forever. I've seen it within my own family. Now you have some freedom and your instinct is to fight for yourself tooth and nail? That's a great sign. That looks to me like even with all the bullshit around you, all the sacrifices you've had to make temporarily, you've never given in. You've never folded. Even in the most dire situations where we're the most powerless, you can always think to yourself "this is wrong." It seems like you did that and I think you can definitely work towards the much happier and better place that you deserve.

/r/infp Thread