The other bad thing about canceling is that it's blocking your own ability to make decisions about stuff by making informed choice, and pushes people who don't agree with the hivemind into the warm embrace of the hate groups.

I was never really identifying with my gender and I was very confused about why (binary) trans people care to be recognized as men or women, instead of just doing what they want and rejecting gender roles. Radfems had the answer to the question I would never dare to ask in fear of getting shunned: gender is a social construct, brains have no sex, you can be a woman and do whatever the fuck you want, you only doubt your womanhood because the society made you associate it with their ideal of feminity. It really spoke to me, to be honest. I was going against the grain being an openly bisexual, gender non-conforming feminist in a very conservative country, why would I conform to a bunch of 16-year olds on Tumblr?

Then I looked at their blogs and saw their were a bunch of fucking bullies, going to trans people's profiles and making fun of their looks, so as a rule of thumb I decided people who are abusive will not be right. But I can imagine a lot of women and perhaps some afab nb eggs like me could be attracted to this clean and elegant explanation and think, "so rejecting the idea that I have a fundamentally different brain than a man is transphobic? I GUESS I AM A TRANSPHOBE THEN".

I guess I was just floating in frustrating void of "the hivemind would tear me apart and assume I'm asking in a bad faith if I wanted to ask about this all gender stuff" until I saw Natalie's vids. I could really believe her, because outside of all those camp aesthetics, she was seriously and visibly earnest. And now I guess I understand that the fact that I don't care about my gender does not mean everyone doesn't, that not only trans but also most of cis women would feel upset and not weirdly content if someone called them "he" in some internet discussion, and I guess I figured out I'm pretty much non-binary/agender. I think I had never consider that before, because I would only associate nb's with people on tumblr who would be deeply hurt if someone didn't call them singular "they", and I would not really care about any pronouns at all, or even to tell anyone I don't really feel like a woman. I guess this post is the first time I'm saying it outside of my mind, ever.

Oh, and I guess since I'm non-binary, I can officially uncancel Natalie.