I was a loner “should we be worried about him” type in school. I was bullied in elementary (who wasn’t) and in middle school I learned that calling their bluff usually made them lose interest. The only time that didn’t work was with the violent ones, so I made sure people second guessed whether or not it was worth physically bullying me by frankly being an edgy but scary kid.

As part of this persona, I assaulted people that probably didn’t deserve it (though I always warned them that was going to happen if they didn’t back off). I regret that now, because it’s just not okay and I’m sure that it caused them some mental anguish. But it was rare and most of my scare tactics were more bark than bite.

By high school, I wasn’t really bullied anymore. Some older kids tried verbally bullying me but I was quick witted and just threw it back in their faces. But this led to me becoming a bully myself. I’d start finding peoples insecurities and verbally jabbing at them until they retreated. At the time I believed that I only did this to people that deserved it. Bullying the bullies I liked to say.

But as an adult I’m sure my teenage judgement wasn’t infallible. To some people, I’m sure I was just a regular bully.