I went through the same bullshit, man I really feel ya. As for the Reddidiots, screw them, take the good advise and ignore the judgmental idiots. When I separated from my son's mother, I too had to get a lawyer and spend tons of money on trying to get custody of my son. Since my ex had no intentions of ever working and was diagnosed with Bipolar, I wanted to make sure that I had every right to see my son and even provide a place for him to live and go to school. My ex had to move back to her grandparents, and they are in the process of losing their home. If I work, have a nice apartment, transportation, and my son's school is about a mile away, why do I have to worry about possibly losing him? The lawyer I hired cost my $1500 retainer fee, as soon as that money was used up, they charged another $1500 on my credit card. This went on for several months until it got to $7500 and I maxed out my credit card. At that point, I thought, why the hell am I paying this lawyer?? I mean, since my ex went to get TANF and food stamps for herself, the state assumed that I had never taken care of her or my son. So what does the state do? Send me a letter saying that I owe $30000 in back child support! So after providing documents, rent leases, insurance cards, I was able to get them to drop that. That kinda pissed me off, here I am paying a lawyer thousands of dollars, yet when I asked him about the letter about back child support, he tells me that would be a different case thus MORE MONEY.
It really sucks that any couples with kids, when separated, results in the mother automatically getting custody, and dad shelling out thousands to prove his environment is stable.
I ended up just firing the lawyer, and luckily my ex came to her senses and worked with me to provide a stable environment for our son. But even with NOTHING accomplished as far as court and law is concerned, I still owe 8 grand on this stupid credit card bill that the lawyer worked up.
Never give up on family, and no matter what, I believe your son will ALWAYS love you regardless of what your lawyer does for you. That is something I noticed with my son, he is currently 9. He doesn't just want to be with mom, and same when he is with me. He loves both of us, and no amount of money or lack of can change that.
Hope things work out for you, claim him on your taxes, and look into Medicaid. I pay 61 bucks each week for me and my son's dental/health insurance. I also have him on some type of Medicare program that helps with co-pays and such. Check your local Dept. Family services for programs that can help. Even if you don't qualify on some things, you would be surprise what you will find. I was able to get 300 bucks paid on my electric bill this winter, which helped out so much. Good luck!