Can't go to there any way I can learn the skills of therapy by myself? Will the skills of therapy even help me?

One of the crucial parts of therapy is having a trained professional, who has seen the same problem with many people before you, who is neutral, and who can call you out on your own bullshit thinking, delusions, overreactions, etc. You cannot be a neutral party for yourself because you are wrapped up on your own head, emotions, and perceptions just like any normal person would be.

Not necessarily. I always know when I am having bullshit thinking, delusions, and overreactions. The problem is that even though I know it's not rational, I can't stop the emotions that go along with these thoughts, even if I try to discount the thoughts themselves. Therefore I am not able to concentrate on other things such as work. And it's even worse when the fears are actually justified.

In the past, I had a bad attitude about therapy and it only started working for me when I stopped expecting it to be like going to an car mechanic (quick in and out where I don't have to do anything but pay the bill) and started seeing it for what it was: a semi-long process with many steps that involve both meds, discussion, and self-introspection. It really helped when I started taking a truly active role in my own recovery.

The thing is, I can't take an active role if they won't give me anything to work with. See my previous posts on the matter. They are supposed to teach you concrete skills and give you homework and roleplay how to act in certain situations and stuff like that, yet most of the therapists I've been to have never done that. Usually they're either pushing meds on me or just bullshitting with me for an hour and never really giving me any advice or skills.

Also, there are dozens of medications, each with varying side effects. Don't dismiss them all just because a few gave you trouble. Report the side effects to your doctor and change drugs if you have big trouble.

I've never been on any medications. I just see what they have done to people I know. And I have read the horror stories online and read about the lawsuits against the drug companies by people who have been fucked up by them.

I've never known anybody who wasn't severely fucked up in some way by psychiatric medication. Sure, they may help your problems, but they cause just as many problems as they solve. My dad is on antidepressants and he literally will never be able to live independently or hold down a job again because the side effects have fucked him up so much.

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