I wasn't trying to be passive aggressive more than just point out the obvious, because your household dynamics will be changing and that is something you probably have to just deal with. My apologies if I came across as rather brash however, I didn't mean to make it seem like I was trying to belittle your fears.

Speaking of which, the chances of you having a child with disabilities is pretty low. IIRC it's somewhere like 2-3% of children are born with disabilities. So your odds here aren't too bad when you think about it, although I totally understand where you fears are coming from and, like other people have said, they are normal. I never thought about it prior to my kiddo simply because I was a naive 20yr old who thought she was invincible.

So, if the pregnancy has gone well so far, nothing has shown up on scans, and your wife is feeling good, than I highly doubt you've got anything to worry about and baby #2 will be as adorbs as your first one. Plus your daughter will be a really good influence on this new kid and is going to love being Big Sis! :D

I can offer you some comfort perhaps as a parent with a disabled child (obviously everyone's experiences are different). It's not all doom-and-gloom as it can sometimes appear. I have a few extra frustrations to deal with in my daily life (on the flip side we never have to wait in line for anything, mwahaha!), but I'm sure you and I have had very similar experiences as parents. Potty training? Well that sucked. Teething? Please, never again. Colic? Ugh, kill me now.

But seriously, your fears are normal and you more than likely have nothing to worry about. Oh, and FWIW, I don't believe you're a selfish person for these fears either.