Thanks for the replies. Not accepting hand outs, or "free stuff" as people put it. Tanstaafl. Look it up.
It'd be nice if I could, but simply for these reasons alone, I'm not. I don't want to be that person on the internet. Or off it. Everything I have I've done it on my own. This is no different. I'll make it through. Stubbornly if I have to. Do I need help? You're damned right I do. But I can't take it.
There are liars who do that sort of shit professionally. AND there's the instant doubters who probably never have had a single fucking problem in their awesome lives like this, quick to cast their opinion of someone elses truth. Theres pride. There's shame. What do you want from me?
Doubters, good for you guys. Glad you've developed a bullshit sensor. More people need them, I agree. But learn to fucking tune it better so you don't always pick up false positives on everything you come across. There's a good possibility you could be wrong about something some time. It's a shitty way to live, never being able to trust or believe. Trust me. Do you know how shitty I felt even WRITING that?
Then there are the liars who do that sort of shit to leech, people who take advantage, just scum. Fuck that, and fuck all of them. I'm not that girl. Seen plenty of sob stories, and liars in plenty of forums and venues over the years, from mmo's, and irc, and fb, to people lying about their own mothers dying, and even to this day, people who do less and more to get over on people. How dare them. I'm not that girl. I'll say it again. And how dare you to throw out your opinion of someone elses truth? If you aren't helping answer the small questions I had in the post. You're just masterbating yourself by writing. Take your dick out of your hand, and put it back on the mouse. Click on a different post. Those who offered help. Really, there's a special place reserved for you. You're not lumped into the group of sanctimonious dickheads.
Thanks to the guy who suggested cold turkey. I am. And I'm wound like a fucking triple wrapped octo-coil. If you can't tell.
Also, police report? Wtf are police reports going to do? Maybe in your small town that might help something. But, I didn't even file one here. What for? To reclaim anything, even if I did find it in a pawnshop, or wherever...that requires proof of purchase and ownership. Word of mouth means jack shit. It's not the first time I've been robbed.
It's a city of 4 million people with something like 1000 car related thefts a week or whatever it was. Yep, I looked it up. I wanted to see where I was as another statistic. You think police investigate that sort of thing? You think most guys on the job can do anything about it? They looked at it and one just said they hope I can find a good 24 hour glass repairer. Didn't ask anything related to the crime except when it happened. LOL. One even tried a thinly veiled attempt to pick me up.
Think I have record of purchase on a laptop I got as a gift almost 10 years ago too? What world do you live in where police can help get back your stolen goods? I've never seen it happen once.
I really do wish I filed a report now though, just so I could ram it down your unbelieving throats. Hope nothing ever happens to you where YOU could use some help, and no one believes you. I really do. People like you are also a reason why some chicks don't report their rapes.
I do thank any and everyone who has offered to help. It touches me to know there are people who are willing to extend kindness. I know it still exists. I've done a couple pay it forwards to people on hard times for juices I didn't like. I'm pretty much one of you too. But I wouldn't feel right accepting anything. Nor would I ever ask anyone to go to a post office around christmas time.
And as for human nature? Human nature is to be scum and destroy itself. That's what I know. It takes everything against instinct to be any other way. If you're one of those few people, good going.
I'll delete the post so no one has to waste their time telling the internet their doubts and skepticism. And so no one goes ahead and offers anything else.
Thanks for the replies, even if you were in doubt, and just saying something about it. Thanks for the offers.
I was just venting, still am venting. And had a question about what I might be able to do. I found as much as I'm going to. Thanks. Have a good christmas, and never leave shit in your car.