I've been out 17 years. When I bailed in '98, I had to leave my JW (now) ex-husband, and I was 30 and cute. Despite having a 7 year old daughter, I fucked the pain away with girls and boys. I do not recommend this plan to others.
Dating as we all know - now - should be understood to be a way to learn about ourselves, and understand what we are looking for in a life partner. It is NOT a date one and done (marriage) proposition as the borg had us believe. I knew this - on some level - but I still believed in the happily ever after concept I'd been raised with. Because I was partying, this led to dates with roadies, musicians, actors, rich party men and the girls that rode with them. It was a bacchanalia right in line with my fantasies, but I always walked feeling emotionally wrecked. I'd swung from one extreme to the other - and I was messed up.
I remembered advice given to Minnie Driver when her boy problems were in the gossip rags. "Stay in this Saturday night and drink hot chocolate" was the advice - take a step back was the gist. Took me several years, but I finally did this after a stunning breakup at Burning Man - took a cluster to start me thinking.
I found my life partner 3 years ago. By that time I'd dated every person on my fantasy list, had a good sense of the lifestyle they lived, and knew the sort of lifestyle I wanted. My list of the perfect partner changed significantly from what I left the borg with. It had taken me evolving to create this list - evolving through a process of often ridiculous behavior.
What I recommend newly exjw's to do, is revel in your freedom for a bit on your own. Imagine yourself as a blank canvas - who do I want to be? What do I like to talk about? What do I want to do with my life? What do I need to do to get there? What is the best partner to have in order for me to achieve this? Stuff like that. When you've got this together, then date - people who are in line with your goals / interests. Not people who turn you on at a gig, or haul you out of the audience at shows.
It took me 12 years exjw to figure out who I am / want to be / need in a partner. I would have accomplished that much sooner if I had not anaesthetized myself with booze boobs and boners. I also would have been a better mother. I wasn't bad - kept it all very separate from my kid - but I was distracted at a critical time in my daughter's development. I will always feel bad about this.
Don't allow your clit to fuck up your shit is what I am trying to say :)