My grandfather has the virus. He's in the hospital right now for that, double pneumonia, and possibly a stroke. He's had the ventilator in him so long that his throat is damaged. He's getting better, but he won't be the same anymore, and it's an up and down thing. Guy was my father practically. I took leave to come see him, but it's been three weeks and I haven't. I have to leave Saturday, and idk if and when I can come back.

On top of this I've got to deal with this COVID situation myself, my thieving manipulative mother, my uncle who's getting mistreated by the justice system, plus my own issues that I haven't resolved like loneliness and anger and lack of empathy. I don't doubt that I'm loved, but it'd be too selfish to say that sometimes I don't feel it, even if it's objectively true.