The bizarrely high levels of animosity and disrespect they have toward the Theotokos.

Only the uneducated Protestants have something against Theotokos. Many Protestants are unaware that most Protestant denominations accept the rulings of the Council of Ephesus as truth, one of which was that Mary is in fact the Mother of God or Theotokos.

Say anything complimentary about Mary with this flair and prepare to here about idolatry,

Many fail to realize the nature of the saints in Catholicism, I'd argue that this is due to a lack of education / unwillingness to read deeper into Catholic doctrine. The sad thing about it is this: If you want to discuss with Catholics, you should know what the official Catholic doctrine is.

but for some anything above and beyond mental ascent is "works" and somehow an evil reliance on earning your way into heaven.

If they think this, then that's inconsistent with Protestant theololy itself. Luther had a very good thought about this, the tree and the fruit. The good tree will produce good fruit, while the foul tree will produce the foul fruit. Someone doing good works is an outward sign of saving faith.