Caught my 14 year old with weed and I didn’t punish him.

If I were your kid and you did this to me I'd probably resent you more than learn from you. At the bare minimum you would be characterizing people who smoke pot as losers and I would pick up on that - and it would clash with what I actually saw in high school. The only thing a stoner definitely is, is a stoner. Kids did it in all kinds of different groups - from the nerds to the jocks to the drama geeks to the Jesus freaks and all in between had the occasional stoner. I would see you being wrong with your judgment of the kids who use and distrust anything you said after that. I might even be outright defiant depending on how you spoke to me. If this was yet another "Im right, you're wrong, do what I say - your input is too immature to count" I'd be way less open and honest with you going forward. And, while I didn't use when I was a kid, I'd I did it would have been too help with PTSD symptoms. I might not have realized that's why I was doing it, but I would still especially resent you for taking away the thing that stops the intense feelings of an emotional trigger state. Plus, you just taught me that if you don't like something that I worked hard to get, you're just going to take it away. Its not like weed is free, it's not like it doesn't take effort to get. I can't think of a less motivating lesson.

Mind you, when I was a teen my dad took the same approach as the OP. Except he got to me before I ever said yes to any drug. He told me if a friend of mine has something and I want to do it, I take it home to him. He said he will see if it's safe and if I am going to do it anyway, he'd rather me do it at home. Because of that? I trusted him. Stuff did go around in my school, but I never wanted to take anything home to my dad. I didn't want to have the ensuing hours long talk about drugs. Id much rather play Zelda. But my curiosity never overpowered the pain in the ass it would be. And I didn't sneak around him (with this) because I had no reason to.

I might continue to find ways of doing it, just under the radar. It's not like it has to be combusted to be used. Or maybe I wouldn't but I now know that when something else different and stronger is in circulation, I'm going to make the decision of whether or not to partake with out your input. Every thing you said before hand is going to be bunk in my mind because you assume that stones are automatically losers and thst is clearly wrong. I would turn to the internet for info at best, and most don't even do that. So I might end up dropping acid or popping prescription pills at 16 years old.

I think this hard line, just say no, drug users are probably going no where with their lives approach is ultimately more harmful in the long run. I'd much rather have a child who trusts me enough to ask for guidance on anything than try to stamp out something I dont like. I'd rather teach risk and consequences. If they get busted, better beleive it will be an entire teaching experience in how your behavior can impact your future.

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