I silenced the alarm on my phone without looking. It was just a reminder that didn't matter anymore, but I found myself drawn to the coffee shop anyway.

Today was our ten year anniversary. He was coming home today. We were taking the final steps to purchase an orchard and quit our jobs.

My mother had taken me to pick apples every fall when I was a little girl. Those were my fondest memories of her. She would always talk about us owning an orchard and picking apples all year long so we'd never have to go home. I was too young to know that wasn't the way things worked.

When she passed the dream stayed with me.

My husband was so excited by my dream that I think he did more work to make it a reality than I did. This weekend I'd been held back from looking at the perfect orchard by work and he'd gone on without me. He was coming back with papers to sign. He'd made my dreams come true.

Somehow I'd sat down and ordered coffee without knowing. I glanced at the TV without thinking and regretted it immediately.

The ticker read "No survivors in crash of flight PA 1703."