My boyfriend is my first serious partner. Before we met, I had a long-term friend with benefits that I...Idk how to explain it, I guess I cared about him? I never loved him or anything, but I always partially wondered how deep my feelings were for him and if he ever felt the same way. To sum it up, he was manipulative, 17 years older than me, and took advantage of how I felt about him. At the time, I thought he was super hot, I enjoyed the sex, and we got along great, but a big part of me hated the lack of consistency (in the year we were sleeping together, we’d go a month or two with no contact so I’d finally try to move on from wondering what was going on then he’d just show up at my door like time hadn’t passed since we last spoke). Looking back, I probably should have just gotten out of that situation with him, and since our fling ended I found out he lied about being divorced so he’s married with 3 kids, but I was young and just didn’t think about looking into his story. Moving on, I met my boyfriend and things were going great, I blew off the friend with benefits the random once or twice he popped up until the newness of my relationship wore off and I hit that “...oh shit is this what I really want?” part (Idk if that’s a normal feeling, but again, this was my first relationship ever as an adult and I was close to graduating college). We had only been dating for a couple of months when I started feeling that way and in the midst of this crisis I was having, we stopped having sex at all for various reasons. As a then 22 year old, I was just really restless and dying to get laid when my old friend with benefits shows up. He strolls into my apartment, gets in my bed and teases me despite knowing I have a boyfriend, then we end up sleeping together, and I’ve felt awful about it since. I’m still with my boyfriend, and I haven’t had contact with the friend with benefits since. I don’t think it’s a once a cheater always a cheater thing, sometimes it’s just a low point.
Tl; dr- I couldn’t get over a dude I was sleeping with for over a year and cheated on my new boyfriend with him.