I actually wouldn't dump him if he cheated and regretted it/was disgusted with his behavior. I just can't picture any scenario short of physical violence where I would willingly leave him, the way I feel about him now. My post was getting long and if I wrote all I felt, we would've had a novel in the end. I didn't cheat just to go against the grain...our relationship was going poorly and in a weakened state. Then I started a new job and felt a strong connection to this new person (If I knew then what I know now, I would've quit at this point, it isn't worth it) and instead of say just walking away from a random guy at a bar and being done with it all, we were in the same small environment, day after day, talking and laughing with a bunch of other 20 somethings. My SO and I began to have separate plans socially. He'd go to one bar with a group, I'd go to another. We became like roommates. I know this is no excuse, but I do want to expand on the situation. Slowly I started having feelings of what I call "new love energy" with Chris. Basically just a term for those butterfly and excited feelings of infatuation, which actually stimulates your brain like a drug would. And I took it way too far. Now when a guy even looks at me too long I move away or bring up my bf. What I really wanted to know was will this feeling of inconsalibity ever pass? In 5 years? In 10? Even if I tell I think I'll feel like this. I wanted to hear from someone who once sucked completely as a person, struggled through it, and is now a better, changed person.