When I was young, I was molested as well. And my sister was as well, as well as my little brother, by neighbors and family. There was a cycle of abuse we lived through in our youth. I am not invalidating your experiences, yet you are trying to invalidate mine.

What are you posting this for, pity? I posted on "off my chest." It is my first time posting here or admitting what happened to me and what I did to anyone.

Are you looking for forgiveness? Not from you. Before I wrote this message, you didn't know me. I will never ever meet you or know of you in my life, and you're using me as an outlet for things I had no part of.

Justification? There is none for wrong actions, these are my demons.

Healing? Doesn't everyone deserve that? I know that is my belief, but I understand people like you would rather I take the bottles in my cabinet, set myself on fire, not to speak or exist even though my family depends on me and wish that I don't die. That is what you want from me, but what I want is to try do right things in this world, so that my day in some way I compensate humanity for what I did.

You think an apology decades later will make it better? No, but at least I am taking ownership of my actions from 29 years ago, I am admitting that I did wrong by these friends and regret it.

Fuck you, you did what you did and now you live with that. You live with the not knowing if what happened to your victims, and lets not mince words, they were victims, is your fault. You make it seem as I was denying they were victims. And because I perpetuated these things at such a young age, I am thinking it may have happened to me earlier, I just can't recall.

There are some of us who are aware of what we did and regret it. We loathe ourselves, we don't act on these things now but are haunted.

example 1 example 2 example 3 example 4

Fuck you, and fuck anyone who comes in with some happy clappy hippie bullshit to try to make you feel better. Unlike you, I don't wish you ill, I wish that you heal and be well.