My concern is throwing around the word childfree. It complicates the life of those of us that are actually childfree. I'm clarifying for as many people as will listen.

Serious, non-trolling, no specific harm intended question: Don't you think the best course of action, the proper course, is for people to accept where you are in time? Not to make a decision for all of time and for all of life, but to be sincere and honest about where they are in the here and now? Anticipating they won't change, but is there no room for accepting they might? Are we all so jaded as to not accept that it can change (in BOTH directions) for anyone?

My mom never wanted kids. Until she did. Then she had me at 31. Then thirteen years later, she had foster kids. Now she's in her sixties and has four through adoption that we weren't planning on either (me included).

She was honest at 24 that she didn't want kids. She was honest at 34 that I wasn't getting a sibling. She was honest at 54 that I was getting three siblings whether I liked it or not.

At 24, she was childfree and would have aborted or adopted me out. At other ages, she made other choices because she changed.

My friend...she won't change her mind. That was one of the people I acknowledged apologizing to. She really just...doesn't want kids. I don't see her ever changing that. And my opinion is 'fucking awesome' because she'll be a great auntie or friend or just a friend of mine in a future life. But if she came to me five years from now desperate for a baby because it suddenly clicked, I wouldn't judge her. Nor would I judge friends who always wanted kids, couldn't have them, and decided not to adopt.

I think it is always mutable, but not for everyone. That's the difference. Anyone, at any point and time, could change their minds. But some people never, ever will. Trying to predict who will or won't change their minds is futile and destructive. Just accept what they tell you, when they tell you, and leave it as fact. If they change, congratulate them and leave it as fact. If they change back, do the same. It's not fucking rocket science.

I just believe people who tell me their identity in the moment that they tell me. I accept it as fact. Okay, you're childfree? Great! I won't ask you if your new house has room for a nursery. I'll instead ask you if you're putting in a home gym. And if you come to me, two years later, to tell me you're having a baby, I'll smile and congratulate and say that I know a great place that takes gently used gym equipment at a reasonable price. In other words, I'll assume you mean what you said until you correct me. And I won't judge you for correcting me. Because we're all adults that get to change our minds and that's fucking awesome.

You are what you tell me you are until you tell me otherwise. That's just my policy. I hear you, I respect it, and I respect your right to amend it as needed. We are all mutable creatures. I listen to your labels, I give them respect and acknowledgement, but I also accept that changing or amending them isn't a cardinal sin. Otherwise, we're all just hypocrites.