I'm still with my wife despite the fact that I'm miserable. Not miserable in the since that I hate her or despite her or that she's a bad person, but it's a relatively emotionless relationship. We were young and dumb and had a child and despite my pleas, her religious upbringing absolutely eliminated any possibility of an abortion. She even flat out told me she wouldn't hold it against me if I walked away. She said she would never require me to even participate in our daughter's life if I didn't want to, but I'm not that kind of man. The thought of pushing another fatherless child out in the world (a girl at that) was too much to bear.

We split up several times by my decision. I was too interested in continuing a kid-free, single lifestyle. Eventually it became too much to not be around my kid and I came back to her despite the fact that I hate being married. She's never once second guessed my intentions. Since then we've had more more beautiful, wonderful kids. We couldn't love our kids more than we do and I believe outwardly that it appears we have a healthy relationship. People tell me how much of a perfect family we seem to be, and I suppose for the most part we are. I think I do a fine enough job repressing my discontent and I just focus on raising our children as well as I can.

However I dread spending time with her. She and I have literally zero in common except for our kids. She is religious and I am not. She is a stereotypical consumer, simple-minded, with no interest in broadening herself. She has no intellectual prowess, and doesn't make me laugh. Without children I would never even be interested in a second date, but... I love my kids too much. The sheer thought of losing them in any capacity almost brings me to tears. The idea of another man raising them infuriates me. So I deal with it. I try to be the best father I can be and as good of a husband I can to a woman that I have very little romantic interest in. The terrible thing is that as far as I know she is completely oblivious to any of it.