About 8 years ago I was coming home from a graveyard shift. It was maybe 6:30 AM, everything was still dark and I was driving on a 2 lane country road. Poorly lit. I pull into a left turn lane, it was the very last turn before I was home. I saw some headlights in the distance but they looked super far away, so I pull across the lane. I drove a civic hybrid so it was slow as hell with no acceleration power.
Next thing I know my airbag is going off in my face. I truly had no idea what happened. I sat there in shock for at least 30 seconds trying to figure out why the front of my car was crushed and the engine smoking. Meanwhile, my radio is blaring on as if nothing happened. I had a vague recollection of the dark silhouette of a motorcycle in front of my car.
I T-boned him in a very similar fashion to what happened to you. He flew off in a very similar fashion to you. As soon as I realized this I ran from my car over to him. He was probably 15 feet or so from my car on the ground.
He was trying to get up but I kept him laying down and kept telling him not to move. I have first aid and CPR training and worked in healthcare and I'm thankful in that moment of crisis I remembered those things. There were some bystanders and one of them came over so I asked them to call 911. I sat with him and held his hand until they arrived. I told him I was sorry and that I did not see him.
I was so upset by the situation I started to hyperventilate, my blood pressure was really high and I was looking "shocky" so the paramedics ended up taking me to the hospital too.
I found out later that he broke his ankle (no degloving or infections), his pelvis, and also fractured a vertebrae from the accident. I am thankful that the broken vertebrae did not cause paralysis. I held such intense guilt and shame over what happened. I didn't own a car for 2.5 years because I was so traumatized.
I don't think I have ever felt so horrible as I did then. The reality that your actions have caused someone such pain is... I just don't even have any words. It's awful. That moment definitely makes the short list of shittiest moments in my life (probably his too).
I still think of him from time to time and wonder how he is doing. I wonder too whether he forgives me for all the pain and difficulties I'm sure his recovery caused. I can't tell you what a relief it is to hear that you have forgiven the person who caused your injuries. It makes me think that maybe he has forgiven me too.
I wish you the best in your recovery.