I'm gay, and I'm celibate in accordance with Catholic doctrine, but I don't think there's anything objectively destructive about gay relationships. On the contrary, I think they are just as capable of manifesting all the same goods a heterosexual relationship can, except fertility. I think a lot of Christians seek to demonize gay relationships because they've taken it upon themselves to justify God's prohibition of them, and some also want the smarmy pleasure of "saving" us from love, intimacy, and sexual satisfaction (by assuming they magically become terrible when gay people experience them). But I think the reality is that most of us gay people who submit to the demands of the traditional sexual ethic experience a life of celibacy as a pretty gruelling trial, most of us would be a lot happier if we allowed ourselves to have relationships, and other people's lives wouldn't be harmed if we did. It's just that that isn't God's will; He said a clear "no" to gay sex in the scriptures (without speculating about the inferiority of romantic love between people of the same sex, or whether homosexuality is a choice), and reiterated that "no" on our bodies by clearly designing the genitals of each sex to complement the other's, and by making heterosexual couples uniquely fecund. The deep reason for that is, I think, mysterious ; I have faith that God asks gay people to suffer as part of a plan to bring a greater good out of it. But Christians would find the traditional ethic more defensible in modern culture if they would be more honest about its costs; recognizing that gay people are being asked to make a real sacrifice would be a lot more compassionate than assuming that we're being saved from ourselves in all this, and it wouldn't put Christians in the position of demeaning us and dismissing our feelings and experiences to defend the doctrine .