Clitoral knowledge and gendered sexual scripts appear to play a key role in women's orgasm experience

a partner who not only expects us to accommodate his wants all the time, but doesn't even realize we're doing it

I hope you understand that it is your task to overcome that socialization and stop accommodating partners. And this isn't me trying to talk down to you - all of us have to overcome the bad ideas we were taught by previous generations. I grew up in a conservative household, I have had a lot to unlearn. And so do you. You make a valid point, having to accomodate a partner can really suck the joy out of sex and take away the feeling of intimacy. But as far as I can tell you complain about some of your ex-partners following the stupid script they were taught while you yourself follow the stupid script you were taught. Some self-reflection and change is necessary from you as well.

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